15 Albums That Changed My Life

I am an obsessive music listener.  When I say that, I don't mean that I obsessively listen to music constantly but rather that when I like something, I listen to it over and over and over.  This is a list of 15 albums that I have listened to approximately 1 billion times and have changed my life.

15. Beach Boys - Pet Sounds

One thing I didn't realize about this album is that it is the 11th studio album released by the Beach Boys.  I am thankful they graduated from talking about their senior class and their deuce coupe for this one.  The tracks are deeply melodic and haunting, yet they are totally approachable and listenable.  I actually picked this up after I watched "The Devil and Daniel Johnston".  It is apparently Daniel Johnston's favorite album.  Speaking of which...

14. Daniel Johnston - Hi, How Are You?

Another album written by a deeply troubled and mentally ill individual.  Go figure!  I think I feel about Daniel Johnston many people feel about Bob Dylan or Bruce Springsteen.  The songs cut straight into me.  There is absolutely no filter in a Daniel Johnston song.  "Trying to remember, but my feelings can't know for sure.  Try and reach out, but it's gone"

13. Black Sabbath - Paranoid

I don't think I have to say much about this one.  It is a classic album and introduced me to classic, heavy rock.  I think too much weight is given to "Paranoid" and "War Pigs".  The album is great from beginning to finish.  I particularly like "Jack the Stripper/Fairies Wear Boots".

12. Alice in Chains - Dirt

I was a casual fan of Alice in Chains before I picked up "Dirt".  I almost put Nirvana's "Nevermind" on this list, but when I really thought about it, I think "Dirt" has left more of an impression on me.  There are the usual Alice in Chains heavy hitters on here like "Rooster" and "Would".  The songs that made me keep listening on repeat were the trance inducing "Sickman", "Hate to Feel" and "Dirt".  It is a really upbeat album for happy fun times.

11. Mastodon - Remission

This album is to musical divulgence what a burger with two Krispy Kreme donuts for buns is to eating indulgence.  It is unforgivingly aggressive and over the top, mixing "Rush"-like bursts of virtuosic instrumentals and hedonistic screaming.  There is nothing I don't like about this album.  It is simultaneously raw and polished.  I have spent days playing these guitar riffs.

10. Modest Mouse - Good New For People Who Love Bad News

Much like the Beach Boys, I think Modest Mouse make depression and suffering listenable and even somehow fun.  There is a lot of depth to this album.  It came out as I was finishing up with High School, and I kept it in the CD drive of my car for about 10 months.

9. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium

It is very difficult to describe The Mars Volta to someone who is not already familiar.  Erratic?  Yes.  Loud? Yes.  Playful?  Yes.  A mix between hardcore downbeat metal, funk, and latin music?  In my opinion.  This is an album that changed the way I thought about how songs could sound.  They are that crazy.

8. DJ Shadow - Endtroducing

DJ Shadow composes his music primarily from old vinyls he digs up from used record stores.  If that isn't cool enough for you, listen to this album and give his music a try.  One of the things I love about DJ Shadow is that he is unafraid to feature the drums in any given track.  There is a deliberateness to his songs that is gutsy, and hard to find in a lot of modern music which wants to hit you right in the face with the whole song.

7. The White Stripes - Elephant

The first riff I ever learned on guitar was the main riff from "Seven Nation Army".  The first whole song I could play was "The Hardest Button to Button".  Enough said.

6. Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty

This album, "The White Album", and "Tubthumper" are the first three CD's I really listened to with my eyes closed and headphones.  How's that for variety?  This album is freaking fantastic from beginning to end with a surprising range of musical genres throughout.  "Puttin' Shame in Your Game" has my favorite beginning to a song of all time.

5. System of a Down - System of a Down

This album is 13 tracks totaling about 20 minutes of play time.  It will leave you breathless.  This album, maybe more than any other, showed me that music did not have to follow any rules to be fucking awesome.

4. Radiohead - Amnesiac

"Amnesiac" is basically the B side of "Kid A", which is perhaps the most highly regarded album mad in the past 20 years.  They were both recorded in same studio session (I think), and whatever they had in the water for those recordings, I want some of it.  This album is too good.  Kid A is too good.  Radiohead is just as good if not better than the Beatles.  Deal with it.  With Amnesiac, Radiohead told the world that the best bands don't need to play guitars and they DEFINITELY do not need guitar solos.  Don't expect intro, chorus, bridge, repeat on this album.

3. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven / F#A#8 (F Sharp, A Sharp, Infinity)

Godspeed You! Black Emperor made it cool to mis-punctuate before Panic! At the Disco fucking ruined it.  These albums are not really albums.  They are modern symphonies with movements in the place of tracks.  I first heard Godspeed when watching "28 Days Later".  I was blown away by the music in the film.  I saw the band in the credits and asked my friend Charles about it.  He gave me the two albums listed about (three CD's total).  This is some of the most powerful music I have ever heard.  To be listened to by one's self in a quiet environment.

2. Tool - Every Album

"Hi, have we met?  My name is Charlie and I love Tool."  This is how I should introduce myself to people.  I have probably tried to describe why I love Tool so much to about a dozen different people.  I find it difficult to pin down, but I have no shortage of things to say on the subject.  Tool isn't afraid to start an album with an eight minute long song.  I learned to play the drums by listening to Danny Carey.  I learned to write songs by listening to Tool progress as songwriters.  This is not the easiest music to listen to.  To paraphrase James Maynard Keenan, "we don't write songs you can sit back and tap your foot to".  They do, however, write songs to lose your mind to (in a good way).

1. Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine

This is probably my favorite album and it is almost certainly (along with System's Self-Titled) the album I have listened to the most.  I used to listen to this album from beginning to end EVERY NIGHT in bed before going to sleep.  So if I ever complain about not being able to sleep, you can say, "Charlie, maybe you shouldn't have listened to Rage Against the Machine EVERY NIGHT."  And you'd probably be right.  Worth it?  Yes.

Things That Have Occurred to Me [Or Make Sense to me Having Heard Them (Yes This is Still the Title)]

1.  It is impossible to know how crazy you are in relation to other people.

2.  If you are suffering: it is impossible to know whether you are being overly sensitive to a relatively minor problem or under-reacting to a relatively major problem because no one but you will ever experience your experiences and vice versa.

3.  Eating whole foods (rather than boxed/packaged foods) and drinking only water doesn't just make you healthier, it nourishes your brain to think and feel properly.

http://newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/scientists-learn-how-food-affects-52668.aspx

4.  Everyone should participate in some kind of artistic expression.  It is strange to me that some people do not do this.  Regardless of skill or technical competence, artistic expression is a way of reintroducing yourself to yourself (please allow myself to introduce....myself).

5.  Hugging releases Dopamine, Seratonin, and Oxytocin.  Hug people who you like.

6.  Punching people in the face releases Adrenaline.  Adrenaline increases athletic performance.  Punch people you don't like in the face.  (Just kidding)

7.  There is no reason to hate another person for being an idiot, an asshole, or any of those things.

8.  Not hating someone does not mean you have to accept or tolerate them being an idiot, asshole, etc.

9.  If you want to do great things, you must build a structure and foundation for the way you live first.  "Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work"  Gustave Flaubert

10.  Most of what we do, how we feel, and who we are is a direct result of our central nervous system.  Sometimes it is really healthy and beneficial to "deload" the central nervous system.  Deloading the nervous system is just the way I prefer to describe meditation.  Meaning: absolutely no stimuli or activity, and as little thought as possible.  This is basically recharging your battery in a fundamentally different way from sleeping.

11.  Comparing yourself to other people is a completely fruitless exercise, especially when you compare yourself to me because I am better than you.

Every Day in Every Way, I'm Getting Better and Better

Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie came up with the concept of conscious auto-suggestion.  Basically, the theory that if you tell yourself that you are getting better every day (the famous phrase being the title of this post), you will in fact get better every day.  Going along with this theory, it has been shown through multiple scientific studies that smiling actually makes you happier and not necessarily the other way around.

I believe in this stuff.  Do I think everyone should walk around with a huge smile on their face saying "everything is great and I'm great and I love you all!"  No.  Am I in the slightest bit like that?  No.  But when I am having a less than great day, or when I know there is no good reason not to be happy, I just try to smile and think to myself, things really aren't so bad.  And they aren't.  And anyone can convince themselves that they aren't.  

When I was younger, I felt like it was dishonest to be happy because so much was wrong with me and with the world.  Kind of like Johnny Cash wearing black because his homies are in prison and people are starving or whatever generic grievance he could contrive.  It is negligent not to occasionally consider the tragedies that occur in this world, but there is no need to carry that burden on a daily basis.  Wearing black (whether you are Johnny Cash or a whiny Goth) is not going to help.  Being happy and helping people does however.

Letting the problems that can easily be found in everyday life affect you negatively is unintelligent and un-American for that matter.  My wife, Alex, and I have been working together to become more positive and productive people.  It isn't necessarily easy to work full-time, exercise, eat healthy, play music, take care of the house and the dogs, etc.  But everyone has their long days, and doing those things does make me happy.  Maybe it's just because I'm smiling.

Everyone try to smile today and see if it doesn't make you feel better.

P.S. On a totally unrelated note everyone check out the Firth of Lorn pages on Facebook and Twitter and give some love.

Skull Valley Review

My friend Richard Magnelli of Satyr/Elfheim (his band) and Skull Valley (his blog) is a reviewer of local live music.  He gave an honest review of Firth of Lorn's show back in May and I wanted to share the link.  http://skull-valley.blogspot.com/2012/08/greg-mckillop-returns.html  I think what Richard has said, especially in terms of our sound and the fact that we played some songs we hadn't even practiced, is accurate.  It was the first show Matt and I played in together since high school and we definitely needed to adjust to the acoustics and the reality of playing a full-blown set live.

Still, seeing the review and remembering that night makes me want to get out there again.  Richard, thanks for the review and I am always unashamed to read helpful criticism.

Growing Up?

How seldom I remember to blog is a bummer, but I am pretty god damn busy most of the time.  Still, it inspires me how much my wife Alex blogs (http://alexinwonderlandcooking.blogspot.com/) and I really think I should do it more.  Recently I was discussing with my friend Charles how when we were younger, we just assumed we would achieve some major success in one of our creative fields.  We used to take making films really seriously.  I still taking writing and making music seriously, and Charles is a hilarious stand up comic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8G5D_M-pdo).

Now that we are adults with jobs and responsibilities, etc, etc, it is more difficult to justify taking the time required to maintain those passions.  I try to practice with my band mate Matt at least twice a week but that seldom happens.  I have all but given up on trying to write with any regularity.  Does that mean we are somehow blowing it?  Or fucking up?  Or forgetting who we are?  Or does that mean we really were just distracting ourselves by taking all that time making films, writing, and doing stand up, and now we are beginning our lives doing what we should be doing?

I love my life with my wife Alex.  I love our dogs and our house and I like mowing the lawn and using my screwdriver.  Still, it is hard to imagine a time when I don't have any semblance of a band AT ALL.  Yet, I can see that being the case sooner rather than later.  And that bums me out.  Maybe I'm holding on to who my 13 year old self thought my 23 year old self should have been.  Or maybe I was right all along.  In any case, the wife, dogs, house, and great job aren't going anywhere and I wouldn't have it any other way.  It just depends on how much drive I have to keep up with those extra things I still value so much.

Firth of Lorn

So, I haven't posted in a really long time.  My apologies to anyone who cares.  Last Wednesday was the first time I had performed in front of a public audience in at least three years.  The show went great, and I have to say I was extremely impressed by the other acts who performed as well.  Live music really is completely and utterly different than listening to a recording.

Matt Smith and I were the band lineup.  He did an amazing job on such short notice, especially we a few songs we really hadn't gotten to practice together at all!  The main thing I felt about that night though, was an overwhelming urge to do it again and make it a part of my life.  The feeling you get when playing a song you have written in front of a group of strangers, and they get it, is unbelievable.

Thanks for everyone who could make it.  I hope the rest of you can make it next time.

Check out our music.

http://www.purevolume.com/FirthofLorn74358

Live Performance

I'm excited to announce that Firth of Lorn will be playing live for the first time in a long time on May 16th.  Matt Smith and Ryan Reader have been working hard to learn some of my original stuff as well as a few covers.  Playing in front of an audience really is the only way to see if you are getting somewhere.  Thankfully, I'm feeling really positive and ready to take this step.  I hope we get a decent turnout.  More importantly, I hope we sound good.  I think we will.
If you can make it, we'd be thrilled to have you at the show.  If not, no problem.  We plan on making a habit out of this.  In fact, I've been speaking with Larry Luther at Mr. Smalls to see if we can't set up a live show/recording session sometime in the not too distant future.  More details to follow on that.

Thanks to everyone for reading!

Things that are only good in theory

Learning other languages
Doing it yourself
The state of Florida
Sand anywhere other than the beach
Reading when you are really tired
George Foreman grill
Doing shit on Sunday
Dog toys that make noise
Hairbrushes
Vibrating razors (is this not terrifying to anyone else?)
Waiting until the morning instead of doing it the night before
Really small laptops
Kind of big phones
Trail mix
Blogs

Well Here's Your Problem

I think the number one problem with my generation is that we don't finish what we start.  We don't have the ability to just sit down, accept the situation, do what should be done, and finish it.  There are so many potential reasons for this I don't even know where to begin, but I'm sure you can think of plenty more.

Over-stimulation and influx of information.  How the fuck is anyone supposed to focus?

We were told never to settle.  This is, of course in direct contrast to what every other generation who ever lived was told, which was essentially "deal with it."

Most of us grew up spoiled.  Again, compared to 99% of the people who have ever lived or who live in less fortunate circumstances, living in a warm shelter, lit with electricity and fed until we are all fat isn't such a bad deal.  The only thing is, we get complacent, then we expect more and more and more.

We were told we could do anything.  I am someone who struggles with this because I sometimes feel like I'm trying to be EVERYTHING instead of just what I can be.  And I jump from one thing to the next without finishing what I started.


Most people are fat and lazy.

The thing is, there are no excuses.  At a certain point, we as individuals (everyone, not just those in my generation) need to realize that we are in complete control of what we choose to do, who we choose to be, and what we choose to finish.  I have hope that young people will use the power of technology and information to become more aware and informed, and change the way people think and behave.  It has never been so easy to be so well educated, and yet, there are just so many damn Taco Bells.

Don't go to Taco Bell.  Do something useful.

This has been a rant.

Work

The next time someone says "ugh, Monday again" or "it's almost Friday!" you should cover your ears and walk away.  That kind of attitude is indicative of why so many people in this country are depressed, overweight slobs.  Think of someone you admire.  Do you think they worked for the weekend?  Of course not.  The weekend is nothing more than two days with different names.
Work is a beautiful thing.  It is what makes a person feel like they are part of a society and ultimately, what allows society to be possible.  Don't feel like you are just another cog in the machine.  You aren't.  And if you are, get another job.  Step back and try to ignore the confines of what your country and your parents and your government has consciously or subconsciously indoctrinated, and examine your life in relation to the world.
Are you making an impact?  Are you helping others?  Have you earned the things you have?  Are you doing something that makes you feel fulfilled?  Are you the person you want to be?
It's not that complicated, but it isn't that easy either.  Do what you want to be doing and live with passion.  The rest will fall into place.
Or don't.  What do I care?  (Just kidding)

Angelo Excerpt

This is an excerpt from "Scared Children With Cars."

            The ice cold water soothed him a little, and at least made his feel like he could breathe again.  He no longer felt like he was overheating, although his chest and back and arms began to itch, and he had no doubt that there was a large red rash spreading.  He pretended not to notice and once again, began to jog on the machine.  This time, to distract himself, he turned on the TV.  There was an old high school football game on, but that was the last thing he wanted to think about right now.  He flipped through the channels casually, forgetting about the dying old man outside and his job and his home and all of his problems that seemed so inescapable at that moment.  Then he turned the channel one too many times and he saw it.  There it was: the exact giant from his dream.  It was walking across the desert and resting down beneath a tree, arms wide apart as it sat, exactly like the coach’s dream.  Angelo fell off the back of his treadmill and went somersaulting backwards into the wall.  A couple of people looked over at him, but he jumped right back up and insisted that he was fine, refusing any help or attention. 

            He looked back up at the TV and there it was, eyeless, mouthless, featureless, pure white, gigantic, with huge arms and legs, and smooth skin pulled over its sinew, like icing on a cake: perfect, seamless, hairless.  He gawked and his mouth hung open, terrified like he was seeing the devil for the first time, and for the first time believing in hell.  He turned the TV off and stared at the blue screen.  He walked over to the locker room to get his things, the words “you know that’s what you saw” repeating over and over furiously in his head, like a recording of a madman repeating his insane mantra.  And so “you know what you saw” became Angelo’s mantra: his torturous mantra that could not be silenced nor reasoned with.  He gripped his gym bag with a pearl white fist and refused to put on his winter coat. 

            As he walked down the stairs, he attempted to appear calm and normal.  Ignoring the voice echoing through his mind.  The glass door opened and then he saw the mob of people, an ambulance, and an old man in a gurney being lifted into the deathtrap.  Angelo roared at the top of his lungs, up at the sky, with his head thrown back and his arms out, fists clenched, palms up, elbows bent, like a man who was starting a brawl with heaven.  He ran as fast as he could to his car, somehow never losing his footing.  The doors were unlocked and he jumped in and sped away, “you know what you saw…you know what you saw…you know what you saw…you know what you saw…you know what you saw…you know what you saw…”

Woman Enjoys Everything in New York So Much, Can't Enjoy Anything Else Ever Again

   Nancy Killian, a woman from a rural town in southwest Indiana, vacationed in New York City this past fall, marking the first time she had ever left the state of Indiana.  During the three day vacation, Nancy reportedly ate bagels, rode the subway and tried some pizza as well.  There are conflicting reports of her being mugged after getting off at the wrong stop in Brooklyn.
   Friends say that upon her return to Indiana, Nancy couldn't let go of New York.  "She would just compare everything to one stupid fucking thing she saw or did in New York," says Sally Mae, a long time friend.  "She was only there for three days but claimed she just couldn't eat pizza from anywhere around here anymore."
   Nancy's father Abel echoed Sally's story.  "We went to the grocery store a few weeks ago and all she would talk about was how cheap everything was and how it just didn't look as good as it did in New York.  Her grandfather owns the store and the produce is all local and organic.  But to Nancy, nothing could be as good as New York."
  Nancy battled depression, claiming that "nothing is that awesome around here, everything is much more awesome in New York.  "This one time in New York I stayed up until like four and everything was still open.  It was crazy!"
   In a state of general malaise, Nancy roamed the streets of her hometown in the dead of night, knocking on doors and seeing if anyone wanted to go to a club.
   Eventually, it was too much for her.  She decided that if she was going to turn her life around, she'd have to make a move quickly.  So Nancy bought a one way ticket to Paris, apparently "the only place on earth as good as New York...maybe."  After arriving, Nancy was so thrilled at all of the aspects of Paris that were "millions of times better than any stupid thing in Indiana" that her head exploded waiting in line for the Louvre.

The Onion

I have decided that since I love the onion so much and find it so hilarious, I am going to do my own fake articles for fun.  So here we go.

And I can tell you exactly when it happened....

The moment I got old:  when I decided that shirts actually do look better tucked in

The moment I knew I would never go back to school:  the first week after I stopped going to school

The moment I became a true American:  when I mowed my lawn just so it looked better than my neighbor's

The moment I knew I wanted to marry my wife:  first time she agreed to watch Lord of the Rings, then wanted to watch the second and third

The moment I knew I was strange:  met Charles Frantz

The moment I hit rock bottom:  drank three cans of pepsi and a bag of bugles in English class during food day

The moment I started hating myself:  started blog

About "Scared Children With Cars"

This novel has been three years in the making.  It is the story of five lives.  The five main characters are battling personal crises in the midst of a global event.  It is about how individuals deal with fear, and to some extent how we deal with change and uncertainty as well.


In the beginning of the novel, we are introduced to the characters through a series of relatively mundane events.  We get to know them, a little about who they are and what makes them tick.  Then they start to experience personal revelations.  They begin to question the world around them and their perception of it.


Then we get the global event.  A possibly supernatural occurrence takes place in the deserts of West Africa.  The world takes notice, and many believe it is an omen of the end of times.  Some of our main characters believe this.  Some are skeptical.  Some think it is nonsense.  As the date of the alleged end times draws near, the characters begin experiencing even more hardship and serendipitous encounters until the story reaches a frantic climax.


At the heart of it all, there is Angelo: the realist.  The hard-working American who asks nothing from anyone and is content living his days on his own.  Happy living a simple life until events from the outside world come crashing through his walls and into his home.  And there is Tim: the idealist.  Although Tim has no personal contact or reason to believe in the end time speculation, he is swept up by it.  He becomes enamoured with the idea.  They are the antithetical characters that drive the story forward, and keep doubt in the back of the mind of the reader.


This is a story about love, fear, perception of reality, and how individuals are able to deal with what life presents.

First Post

Hi everyone,

For those of you who may have seen, I announced recently that I was going to release Dram, the first Firth of Lorn album to be officially available for sale.  However, in typical fashion, I changed my mind.  

The reason for my change of plans is that the music is not all professionally recorded, and I would like to wait.  Also, the publication of my novel is long overdue.  It has been completed for over a year.  I think it is time to publish.

The novel is currently going through the Amazon review process.  And in a few weeks, after I receive my first proof.  It will be for sale through Amazon/createspace.  Please stay tuned and check out my twitter and facebook page dedicated to "Scared Children With Cars."